


Things I Never Said

by PeachesandBones



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode: s01e19 Arena, Episode: s01ep10 The Corbomite Maneuver, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:29:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachesandBones/pseuds/PeachesandBones
Summary: Jim needs a hearing test. Or a psych eval.





	

The first time Jim does it, they’re in the lift, with Jim heading for his quarters and Bones along for the ride to offer a small tidbit of advice.

“Aren’t you the one who always says a little suffering is good for the soul?” Kirk asks, a hint of a smile in his tired eyes.

“I never say that.” Leonard replies shortly.

 

The second time, they’re actually in Kirk’s quarters, drinking wine from the tiny Starfleet tumblers, specifically made that small to avoid overindulgence while on shift.

“Doctor McCoy, I’ve heard you say that man is ultimately superior to any mechanical device.” Jim says coyly, like he’s playing a game of wits.

“No, I never say that either.” This time the smile makes it to the very edges of Jim’s lips.

“I could have sworn I heard you say that.”

 

The third time it happens, Bones knows that Jim is fucking with him, but he can’t quite figure out how _he_ had been lucky enough to be the centre of the captain’s amusement.

“Bones,” He says after another argument between the doctor and his first officer. “Haven’t you always said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?”

“I need to schedule you for a hearing exam. Or a psych evaluation.” He replies stiffly, and he can feeling Jim grinning as he walks towards sickbay.

 

After that, McCoy starts to lose count.

“Remember how you extolled the virtues of replacing meals with desserts?”

“I always hear you saying ‘Why do now what can be put off for tomorrow?’”

“You always talk about how there are no life problems alcohol can’t fix.”

“I distinctly remember you saying that blue balls was a legitimate medical condition.”

“You said I could take the aspirin from medical supplies whenever I wanted.”

 

After a while, Leonard has stopped even refuting him. His routine becomes glaring at Jim, turning on his heel and making deliberate footsteps as he walks away. Not that this deters Kirk at all - oh no. It seemed to invigorate him even more, and soon it comes to a point where McCoy cant’t have a relaxing moment on the ship without Jim managing to throw in some wisdom the doctor had apparently expressed.

“McCoy to Bridge.” Jim’s voice comes on over the intercom. Leonard jumps up from his bed and rushes to respond, praying it wasn’t another emergency because he’s still tired from the last one.

“McCoy here.” 

“Didn’t you always say that I have the best hair in the galaxy?” Bones takes a moment to glare at the speaker, and then goes over to his bed and presses a pillow against each ear.

“Bones? Bones, are you there?”

He wishes for another captain fervently.

 

Then, the day comes when Kirk is stranded, fighting the Gorn alone as they watch, and he feels regret biting at the back of his throat as he watches his friend struggle with the alien. Fortunately, Jim manages to pull through, as he always does, and after treating him for some bruises and cuts, alpha shift is over and McCoy heads back to his room for a shower. Coming out, towel loosely wrapped around his hips, he gives a shocked gasp as Jim grabs the back of his head and kisses him, the initial harsh mashing of lips giving way to a slower burn. McCoy struggles and pushes him back, glaring angrily.

“How did you get in here?” He demands.

“Captain’s override.” Kirk grins, as incorrigibly smug as ever.

“And why are you in here?”

“Well, doctor.” Jim’s smile widens, all impeccable white teeth and plush lips, and he and steps forward again, running his hand gently down the side of Leonard’s neck. “I believe you DID say that you were a sensualist…”

Leonard pauses, confusion written all over his face. He actually _had_ said that. 

“God damn it.” He mutters, with no force behind the words. He grabs Jim’s hips and throws himself into another kiss, ignoring the towel as it drops to the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by the two instances in 'The Corbomite Maneuver' where Jim puts words in Bones' mouth. Also, although not included in this fic, Jim does it again in 'This Side of Paradise' where he tells McCoy 'I thought you said you might like him [Spock] if he mellowed a little.' I wondered if it was supposed to be a running gag that got dropped somewhere along the way.


End file.
